Low Iron

So, I got some of my blood work back today.  The stuff my nurse practitioner ordered.  My TSH is still within normal at 1.84.  But I don't like that it is still trending up.  I do best with a TSH below 1 but I know no one wants to fool around with my TSH through meds too much during pregnancy.  The nurse I spoke to today said that normal is up to 5.  Um no.  The new international standards go from 0.35 to 3.5 (or 3?).  A 5 is too high.  Why are Canadian medical professionals so behind the times?  So, I stay on my current dosage for now. 

Unfortunately, my iron level is too low.  So back on the supplements I go.  I brought them along with me on my trip so I started today along with an orange to help absorption.  Unfortunately, most of the things the nurse mentioned for dietary iron are out of bounds.  Dried fruit?  Sulphites are used for preservation.  A no-no for me.  You really don't want to see me after I've had a reaction to sulphites.  Not pretty.  Leafy greens?  Totally a no-go zone during pregnancy for me.  (I can't believe I didn't vomit up the cabbage I ate last night ... nasty ... and I know it isn't a leafy green.  That was an example of what veggies are doing to me.)  The only one that is okay is legumes but my body doesn't like vegetarian options much.  If I eat vegetarian choices I have to eat them at supper time otherwise my insulin gets thrown off.  I'm pretty much a master at organizing my menu and meal and snack choices but this is getting ridiculous. 

Oh, and I still haven't gained more than 5 pounds.  The only one who was concerned was the student midwife I saw last time.  I'm perfectly happy not to gain 20 pounds or more.  As long as baby is growing fine, and he is, I'm quite happy not to have a ton of weight to lose after.  With PCOS and a thyroid problem there is no way extra weight would be coming off after pregnancy.  None.

My niece came over this afternoon for a little visit.  My sister was happy to get out of the house since my nephew was fussy today.  Likely another tooth.  My niece took one long look at my belly and said 'the baby is growing fast'.  I wasn't sure if she meant my baby or her brother since he's growing fast too.  She meant me and my belly.  lol  If she can see he's growing fine I don't know why the student midwife is all out of sorts.

The nephew has arrived

A few days early but he's here. A full 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 20 inches long. No name yet, although my niece thinks his name should be Herb.

A couple days before I last went out west for work my BIL posted something on FB about the u/s showing that he was likely 8 pounds already and could be 9 pounds at birth. That was the first status update I saw that morning and my heart just sank. And then I remembered that I was pregnant. No matter how many kids I have I don't think I'm ever going to get over that feeling when other people post their pregnancy announcements or updates on FB.

Anyway, I was about to take a bite of my sandwich tonight (which I normally hate but I can tolerate eating for supper) when the phone rang. I could tell it was a long distance call by the ring and cursed whoever was calling me thinking it was a telemarketer. I got to the phone and noticed it was my parents. Except when I picked up no one was there ... until finally my niece got on the phone and said something about having a baby. Apparently mommy had nothing to do with it. She was so excited that she was difficult to understand on the phone. And she was a wing nut the entire conversation. She tried to dump over the cat stand with her cat on it. Yes, my SIL and BIL are still not moved in to their renovated house. I'm just going to choose to ignore that part of the situation.

They are going to head up to visit after supper and my niece was planning on bringing him bubble gum. She's been told he looks like her but has lighter hair, maybe a light brown or blonde but my BIL isn't a good judge of anything involving colour or design so we're not sure what colour his hair is. My BIL thinks the men in his family are tall and he is the tallest at barely 5'10". My mom and I scoff at that considering the men in our family run 6'2"+ and we consider that normal, not tall. She was hoping my nephew would be longer than 20 inches.

My niece has been asking lots of questions lately. When I was out a couple weeks ago she asked my mom if I was married. My mom said, no. My niece asked why not. My mom said 'well, if you are going to live with someone you want to like them, right?' My niece thought about that for a while and agreed that was a good idea. So my mom said that I hadn't yet found anyone that I liked enough to live with. She was satisfied with that explanation.

And apparently when she asked about cousins today my mom explained how that would work if I had a baby. My niece got so upset and said that I could NOT have a baby, ever, because that would mean I couldn't be an auntie to her anymore. OMG! That's hilarious. So we explained that to her on the phone, that you can be a mommy, an auntie, a grandma and a cousin all at the same time.

They come up with the funniest stuff ...

In other news, I had my first prenatal appointment with my NP today. We got all the paperwork and requisitions out of the way and we'll do the physical stuff next month. My bp was fine at 116/80 which is within the norm for me. I've been having blood pressure issues the past few days and I'm sure that it is part of the reason why I had 4 straight days of migraines starting last Thursday. I think I'm at that point where the blood vessels dilate but the blood supply hasn't quite caught up yet. I'm feeling better now but I can feel my body is off.

I get to make an appointment for my dating scan. The NP said just to pretend that I've never had one for this pregnancy as they'll use the dating scan to determine when I need to do the NT scan and start the screening bloodwork. So I should get to see the bean again soon. I'm not feeling pregnant (as the NP said, if you're feeling pregnant that usually means you're vomiting) and I really want to see the bean to make sure it is still in there and doing fine. I'm going to call tomorrow morning and line up an appointment asap.

The not so fun part of all the bloodwork is that they have to do all the STD screening again. I just had this done last year and since I haven't become an IV drug user and a penis hasn't been anywhere near this vagina in quite some time, despite my pregnant status, I think it is a waste of financial resources to test again. But it is required. Same with blood type. I've been the same since my mom typed my sister and I as kids and nothing has yet shown she did a crappy job resulting in the wrong blood typing. Again, it is required.

And I have my first appointment with an OB tomorrow. I'm not impressed with what I've heard so far but my mom said to go with an open mind. I'm still really hoping to get in with the midwives practice so I don't have to think about it.

CD10 ... Photo Bonus

Back to another CD10.  Not much going on.  I started monitoring blood work for this cycle this morning:

• E2 = 377
• LH = 9

Definitely no surge yet.  I need that LH >30 for surge.  I'm trying my best to keep my stress levels down this week.  I'm certain that stress during O-week last month delayed my O by a day.  Not a good thing.

I kind of disappeared from my online places over the last week.  I was so tired, angry, and sad that I just couldn't stand looking at pregnancy tic.kers, happy BFP announcements, or condescending "oh, I'm sorry but I know it will happen for you" pronouncements.  I just needed time to grieve another BFN and to come to the realization that adding Clo.mid is probably a good thing and not a sign of defeat.  For years I refused to add met.formin to my fight against PCOS.  Eventually I realized I had done all I could by myself and that the medication could only help me get to that next step.  And now I'm coming to the same conclusion about Clo.mid.  I had so hoped that I could get a sticky BFP without it.  I don't know ... part of me thought that if I could get that BFP Clo.mid free it would feel like I was giving PCOS the big middle finger.  But I can't focus on feeling defeated without a sticky BFP without Clo.mid.  I'm just trying to give myself a better chance at a BFP, possibly more than one good follicle for a better chance at a sticky BFP, and to push up the time table a little bit.  I turn 38 in December and I cannot keep going month after month without stepping up the protocol to get more aggressive.  Adding Clo.mid does NOT mean I am a failure or that my body is a failure. It is just another weapon in my arsenal on the way to getting my sticky BFP.

Not much else to tell here.  We had our first thunderstorm of the season, a major one.  The power went out some time over night and came on again around 4 or 4:15 according to my clock.  The thunder and lightning was very intense and woke me up.  I thought it was about 3 but thought I'd better check what time it was since the clock had been out.  5:30!  Time to take my temp and get up.  Nothing like nature being your alarm clock.  The rain was pretty intense but no damage on our street.  It was way warmer than normal today at 23 degrees C and very humid, a taste of what is to come in summer.  Yuck!

I've noticed this blog is a little short on photos so I thought I'd share a few. 

Kitty hanging out on top of my dresser in the old condo.

This is my kitty, P.  She is officially 'P' but most of the time she gets called kitty.  I've had her for 8 years.  She was estimated to be 8 years old when I got her at the shelter making her about 16 today.  She's mostly well behaved but she has a certain fascination with carpet.  That's why our main floor is wood and tile. 

Me and The Fifi

This is me with my niece, F.  She was exactly 17 months old in this photo.  She'll turn 5 in July.  Her name is unnicknameable but she still ended up with the nickname Fifi.  She couldn't be any more my clone if she were actually mine.  Strange, really.  She has awesome auburn hair with a patch of orange on the side and a patch of blonde in the back.  She also had dark brown eyes, way darker than mine.  And she has the craziest, biggest imagination for a 4-year old I've ever seen.  I love that she's always super excited to see me.  It is 'auntie this' and 'auntie that' the first day she sees me after I've been away a while.  Love that!

Baby gifts ... obviously not for me. :-(

I did some shopping over the last little while.  With 6 new babies around me (5 in 5 months plus one this upcoming June) I've had to spend a lot of time in the baby aisles.  It used to be fun but it isn't really fun any more.  And that makes me sad.  The red one is for The Fifi's little brother, due in June.  The other 2 are for my niece R in Denmark.  I took a look at the tag on the pink one and realized it may be too small already.  R was 22 inches long at birth.  The pink one, my favourite, is supposed to be size 6 months.  But I looked at the tag and it is for kids up to 27 inches long.  And since it has feet it can't work for longer kids.  By the time it gets to R I think it will be too small.  I'll send the snail one instead since she'll still have time to grow into a 12 month sleeper.  And she'll look awesome in blue.  ;-)  I'm going to keep the pink one for now as I'm sure one of my friends or someone at work will have another baby soon.  Then, at least I have something at home and I don't have to brave the baby aisles at the stores again.