40w1d & progress update

Made it to my due date yesterday and he's still not here.  I've been super busy the past few weeks especially since my parents arrived on the 27th.  So, this post will be a bit of a 'thought vomit' one but I thought that I'd give all my readers an update.

• Blood pressure is still good for this stage of pregnancy at 118/78 but I'm a bit bummed it is so close to normal ... because my blood pressure is always on the low side.  But that is to be expected.  
• Still technically working and was in the office Friday.  People seem to think I'm nuts but when I explain I don't want to come back from mat leave too close to New Years' 2013 they get it.  
• Had 10 days off over Christmas and New Year's and went back on January 3rd.  That's the earliest I've EVER gone back to work in the new year.  Felt really weird.
• Finally got some decorating finished but I had to stop because my parents were about to arrive.

• Had a really weird Christmas Day.  I had a nap in the afternoon and didn't do much of anything at all.  
• I got all my cookies made but have one more batch sitting in the fridge.  Didn't manage to get the pies done so unfortunately my mom had to make them.  
• Had Christmas meals on New Year's Even and New Year's Day.  Felt a lot more like Christmas after that even though I missed out on the usual stuff and seeing my niece and nephew back home.  Next year will be better including for my sister who spent 3 hours in the ER because of a wacky serious eye infection that was progressing really fast.  Merry Christmas Eve to her!  
• Finally met my primary midwife now that she is back from leave.  Feels really weird to meet her so close to delivery but it can't be any worse than going to the hospital and getting some random OB, right?
• Parents arrived on the 27th and we've been busy since.
• The baby's room is ready to go now that we've gotten the finishing touches in.  Dresser and rocking chair are ready.  Thank you Ik.ea!  One bookshelf needs to come out and moved into the other bedroom up front.
• My house is being fitted with all kinds of shelving, all over the place.  My townhouse will have the best shelving in the suburb, I kid you not.  ;-)
• Cloth diapers are washed and ready to go thanks to my mom.  She didn't realize they should be dried between washes but luckily I caught that after the second wash and they got fluffed up nicely.
• Have 2 types of cloth diapers to try out - Indian prefolds and some microfibre ones made at a local baby store.  My mom has offered to make me more microfibre ones if she can find out what is in them.  That would be awesome!  
• Tons of freezing rain here since the week before Christmas including 2 days on which I had midwife appointments.  Made it out to the clinic no problem by driving responsibly.  ;-)
• Unfortunately, tested positive for Gr.oup B Str.ep.  Really not happy about this because I'm allergic to penicillin and clindamycin.  My only option is vancomycin and that's nasty stuff.  So, we're going to see how things go and if there are no warning signs we're going to do this without antibiotics.  Fingers crossed my water doesn't break before going to the hospital.
• Changed the hospital I'm going to because of GB.S results.  I'm now going out of town.  Pre-registered last Wednesday and it felt a lot like going into my home town hospital except the old one was multi-storied and this is a more recently built 1 storey building.  Will be a longer drive but I think we'll get excellent care there if we need to be in more than a few hours.

And now for the progress update:

• At my midwife appointment on Wednesday I was 2 cm dilated with little effacement.  While I've been told that is good for 39 weeks I was a bit bummed I wasn't further along.  Met the brand new student midwife who is working with my primary.  She will be at my birth and I think that will be her first one in this practicum so exciting stuff for her.  
• Had cramps Wednesday night.  My mom wanted me to come upstairs for just a few minutes (she's an organizing junkie ... no appearance on hoarding for her, ever!) and that turned into 45 minutes.  And, of course, it was during the only show that's been on TV worth watching in the past 2 months and wasn't repeated until 11 pm that night.  I repeatedly told my mom I couldn't keep doing stuff because I was crampy.  So I finally stopped at 9 (after missing 45 minutes of the show).  It didn't stop until about 11.  Apparently my mom thought I meant my legs were crampy.  Um, no.  I've never had crampy legs in my life even with a nasty flu.  I meant contraction type cramps.  Decided to stay home Thursday just in case.  I didn't want to try to find out how to get home while having contractions if that happened.
• Spent a lazy Thursday at home and felt much better.  Baby was very active that day since I was relaxing.
• Went to work Friday and had more cramping, particularly in the morning.  Getting stressed out about new stuff coming up at work and inability to get things on my list done before going on leave.  Taking Monday off because I'm too tired to work more than 4 days a week.  
• Noticed something a little different about the discharge yesterday morning.  Wondered whether it was a bit blood tinged but it might not have been so I didn't think too much about it.  Went shopping and when I came home I had bloody show and my mucous plug had definitely started to come out.  Yay!  Progress!  Had difficulty falling asleep.
• Overnight, not much to report.  Bloody show and mucous plug continuing to come out.  Had major discomfort after getting back to bed after going to the bathroom at 3:30 and 8 am.  Took about 1/2 hour to go away. 
• This morning I had some bright red show and got a bit worried about it.  Got my mom to check ... yes, very lovely, but she's used to working with bodily fluids and tissue so it wasn't weird for her at all.  She thought it looked like a clot or maybe some mucous.  Decided to wait and see.
• Show turned brownish again so put off call to midwife.  Then it turned a bit red again so called my doula.  She said this was fine and as long as the bright red stuff wasn't more than the volume of a light period I was fine.  
• Baby has been quiet today after a very active night.  He's definitely moved from his curled spot to bum out behind my belly button.  This is starting to get really uncomfortable, especially when he moves.  
• Continuing show this afternoon.  Spent most of it on the couch because every time I'm on my feet I get really uncomfortable.  Baby is definitely much further down than he was on Thursday.  The ultrasound to check where his head is and fluid levels (because my m/w was a bit concerned) probably won't be necessary because I think he's really far down now.  
• Likely to use my TENS machine tonight just to make sure I can get some sleep.  
• Feeling what is likely mild, erratic contractions.  It is hard for me to tell because I usually get extremely painful menstrual cramps and what is simply uncomfortable for me is really painful for someone else.  

So, after all that I'm thinking this guy is going to arrive sooner this week than later.  And I'm really hoping before Thursday because my dad has to leave to go back to work.  Bummer.  So my fingers are crossed I go into labour soon and with all the progress I've had over the past couple days I'm sure I'm more than 2 cm dilated now.  That makes me very happy!

Anyway, took the last set of belly photos, or what I think will be the last ones, today.  So, here you go:

I should have taken more photos in the bathroom ... better light from the south facing windows to use the camera without the flash.

36 weeks

Yes, I've become that poster, the one with the boring weekly updates and apparently no thoughts other than 'this is where I am'.  lol

My latest m/w appointment went well even if it had to be postponed a day because of a birth.  Not mine, obviously.  I met another m/w in the practice and it could be one of the 2 who will attend my birth.  We went over a few items, will do the GBS test next week, and got a requisition for an u/s.  She was certain his head was down but because she felt his feet and legs in a weird spot, running across my belly, she wanted to make sure what she was feeling was a head and not a bum.  His h/b was in the 140s but spiked to the 160s because he got annoyed when poked by the m/w.  His heart was fairly low in my belly so the m/w was sure that his head was low.  She was unable to get a measurement past 34 weeks because I'm so short in the body.  My uterus is growing as my photos can attest but it has gotten to the point where they can't feel it past a 34 week measurement.  Just another oddity about my body. 

I had the u/s on Friday.  Baby is measuring on time, exactly 35w6d that day.  His h/b was in the 130s that day.  He was busy practice breathing which I couldn't really detect on the u/s screen so I just took the tech's word for it.  The u/s did confirm that he is head down (yay!) and that his legs are in a bit of a weird position.  He seems to keep them in a jacknife position or sort of like an Olympic diver's pike position.  That would likely explain why my belly doesn't protrude an awful lot for 36 weeks and why the m/w thought it felt like he was sitting across my belly.  Baby's estimated weight was 5lbs 1oz on Friday but I know that is notoriously unreliable so I'm trying to pretend that this number really isn't important especially since his measurements land him exactly on time for his January 7th due date.  I was a typical 7 lbs something and the donor was too so maybe he'll be just the same.  Or maybe he'll pack on the fat between now and delivery date and I'll end up with a 9 pounder.  Who knows?  This is one thing that is hard to guess. 

I'm starting to feel the fatigue a little more now.  If I sit down and don't get up after supper I just don't get up.  Suits little T just fine since he gets lots of cuddling time in but I'm not getting much done.  I already warned my parents that my house may be disorganized and in need of a good cleaning and I'm really sorry about that.  I'm doing my best but there are things I just can't do any longer. 

I did manage to get the garland and lights up the banister and complete it last night.  Took 2 days' worth of work spread over 2 weekends to do it but it is now done.  That takes the place of a tree this year.  I want to decorate it up a bit but if I don't get that done it isn't the end of the world.  At least the lights are woven into it.  It took a lot longer than I thought it would.  I had to twist strands of garland together to make it fuller, then twist ends of others in to connect them (~36 feet in total), hang it, then put the lights in.  The steps on the staircase make for good seating to do the lights.  lol  It ended up running a couple feet short upstairs but very few people will see that so I don't care. 

Okay, that's it for now.  I am supposed to have my shower tomorrow so I'm sure I'll have updatable info at that point.  And info on my shopping trip to Ik.ea for baby room stuff.  My life is so exciting this month.  lol

3D Ultrasound

I tried to post ahead of today's 3D u/s but my work computer didn't get along with blogger.  Something about an outdated version of IE.  *sigh* Why can't the IT folks at work get with the program and allow us to use the newest version or figure out that other browsers out there are better?

Anyway, I got my 3D scan done today.  I haven't planned on pregnancy photos so I felt this was an extra I could definitely afford.  He was as stubborn as ever sticking his hands in front of his face regularly.  The tech had to try to get his attention a lot in an attempt to get him to move his hands.  Sometimes it worked, sometimes not.  And my mom got to watch live from across the country.  That was pretty cool!

Here is the little guy, as best we could get him:

3D scan of the little guy at 26w2d

My mom says he looks like I did when I was little.  That is a bit of a relief.  I did spend some time worrying about what he will look like, not because I think he's going to look like an extra-terrestrial, but because I worry about him wondering who he looks like and having no one to compare his features to until he is 18.  If he looks like me and our side of the family it will be a lot easier for him to identify with us and spend slightly less time wondering where he gets his nose from.  lol

He's now sitting head mostly down hanging out on the right side of my uterus.  His feet are up by my bellybutton.  This would explain the high kicking I felt this weekend and his activity when I am on my right side.  I'm not sure if he is complaining when I roll over to the right or if he's happy.  No idea but he definitely gets more active.

Not much else to report.  Work is still busy.  Thank god for one of our analysts who is tackling my files for next week.  I still didn't have any of them in hand when I got in this morning.  A week before my hearings!!!  One of our admin assistants has a serious time management problem but thinks she can do all this by herself and refuses to allow anyone else to help.  That's changing now that we're getting more admin help.  We need our stuff in order to prep.  I can't read through a file in 5 minutes and then be ready for a hearing.  Sheesh!  Anyway, the analyst is taking a swing through the next 4 files which will help to relieve my stress immensely.  I have a midwife appointment tomorrow, an appointment with the security system installer Wednesday morning, I have to vote Thursday, deal with life insurance Thursday night, and then hop on a plane late Saturday for another week away.

But I do get so spend Thanksgiving back home and will get some quality time with the niece and nephew.  Yay!

Level 2 U/S Results

Back to our regularly scheduled programming ...

I think I was a bit worried about the u/s today because I totally missed the ear.thquake.  Either that or the area I was in just wasn't affected even though it was noticeable in the city.  I left Virg.inia on Sunday and am happy to report that my friends are fine.  But you didn't come here to read that, did you?

This u/s was far more in depth and I had the same tech I did 2 u/s ago.  He was great about explaining everything and exactly what was on screen which was really nice.  He clearly pointed out a 4-chamber heart so I knew that part of the scan was fine.  When he was done his bit I got to go to the bathroom (and wipe masses of extra gel off the belly - this guy is crazy with the gel!) and then the radiologist came in to peek at the heart.

The echogenic focus is still there but the good news is that seems to be the only issue.  The IPS screening came back negative and all the measurements are normal and all match timeline wise.  There is nothing to indicate limbs that are behind schedule, which can be a marker for Down's.  The radiologist says that the heart is normal, which I had expected, and that this doesn't need further monitoring as it will resolve on its own.  Okay then ... I was hoping to get one more u/s to check on its resolution but if this means there is no problem then I'm okay with that. 

The baby wasn't completely cooperative this time either but thankfully baby was more active.  At one point the tech was moving the probe over my belly and just at that time we got a look from below right when baby decided to spread the legs.  It is most definitely a boy and he showed off the boy bits ... and probably not for the last time.  LOL  The tech went over that a couple times just to make sure he saw what he did especially since baby seems so stubborn.  He said that if he hadn't seen that he would have guessed girl.  So, I'm relieved to know the first tech was right and that there is absolutely no doubt this is a boy.  The issue is settled and I'm good to shop now.  ;-)  The stuff I bought down south is more gender neutral that a lot of other people would pick but it is nice to know I don't have to give any of it away to my nephew. 

For now I'll sit tight until my next OB appointment on the 12th.  If there had been a major problem I'm sure the radiologist would have said something.  Instead he said I don't need further monitoring.  And since I'm not doing any more testing between now and the next appointment I shouldn't have any surprises waiting for me when I see him next.  Yay!

I Need a Level 2 u/s

My 100th post and I never thought I'd be writing about this. 

I got home from my business trip at 12:30 last night and had a message waiting from the OB.  I've been scheduled for a level 2 u/s on Tuesday afternoon because they saw an echogenic focus in the heart on the u/s last Friday.  The OB said this is very common.  My research said this shows up in 3-5% of pregnancies and with some ethnic groups as high as 30%.  But he said it is a soft marker for Down's.  Cue the panic and tears.  He said he isn't really worried because my IPS screening results were so good.  From my research it looks like 1% of these = Down's which is really, really low.  The risk jumps with bad screening results but I didn't have that.  The risk jumps if they find something else on the u/s.  The OB didn't mention anything else in the message but I think they'll be looking really in depth at the u/s next week.  I'm just praying they don't find any other indicators.  The risk also jumps if you are AMA, and I'm 37.  The risk doubles. 

There are no worries about an actual heart defect as this is a calcification and for some reason that seems to happen.  It generally resolves in the 3rd trimester and if not then certainly after birth.  So I'm not worried about that.  I'm really worried that this is an indicator for Down's.  IPS screening catches 90% of Down's cases.  And this indicator + my age = a 2% risk.  Yes, I know that is still really low but someone has to fall into that 2%.  No one wants to be that 2%.

I thought I was out of the clear but now I feel horrible. 

I'm going to try to focus on the small risk factor so I can enjoy my weekend away but it is going to be really, really hard. 

Passed the IPS Screening

I saw the OB today and got great news:  I passed the IPS screening and do NOT have to go for amnio.  I am so relieved.  I understand that IPS does not catch everything as it looks at risk for very specific issues.  There is always a possibility that something was missed and I have a false negative.  But I'm going to consider myself as falling into the true negative category and be happy and content with that. 

Baby was fine today.  A little quiet all day but the heart was fine.  The OB had no trouble finding it at all today.  The h/b was at 151 today so pretty consistent with Friday and about 5 weeks ago when I saw the NP.  I go back in 4 weeks and at that point will get a requisition for thyroid testing and the glucose tolerance test.  Yuck!  I always get sick when I have to do a 2 hour GTT so I'm not looking forward to having to take a day off just for this test, again. 

In the off chance that the tech wasn't able to get the measurements she needed at Friday's scan I will get a call in a couple weeks to go back for another try.  I won't mind getting another peek but I'm still convinced I've got a bit of a stinker in here and I'll still need a specific gender determination scan.  I'm still seriously considering it, though.  The worst I can do is make an appointment and cancel it because I have another diagnostic before that. 

Other than that, nothing new.  I'm feeling more activity overall and it mostly feels like popping bubbles or popping corn in the popper.  Best way I can describe it.  Baby was pretty quiet today, as I mentioned above, but there were a few movements I could feel. 

I'm off to deal with the garbage and pack for an overnight business trip.  My flights back had better get me home because I'm set to head out on another flight Thursday for a girls' long weekend trip in the States.  Fingers crossed I don't run into any problems or I'll be really, really angry. 

Gender Abmiguity

Okay, I'm now officially paranoid that the scan on Friday wasn't accurate.  Without a completely cooperative baby I am worried the tech might have been wrong. 

I walked out of the appointment thinking it was a boy and was settled on it being a boy yesterday.  And now I'm worried it isn't a boy.  I am great, happy with a boy and don't want this to be a girl now that I've got my mind set on a boy.  My niece would have other ideas.  lol 

So, I think I'm going to go for an elective u/s.  I am sure my OB will not order another one at my appointment tomorrow just for a gender peek.  And thanks to a helpful poster at FF I now know that there are clinics that do elective gender scans and u/s in Canada.  Who knew that was even legal up here?  I didn't.  She told me to search for 'non-diagn.ostic ultr.asound'.  I found 2 places in the city: 1 way out in the east end and 1 not a far drive from my place.

The other option is to book a scan in the US when I'm there this weekend.  I could get one done on Saturday morning which offers pretty much everything the Canadian ones would.  Except the cost is $100 and the Canadian ones range from $169 - $200+.  For the same darned thing!  Grrrr!  The benefit of getting it done at home is that if the baby isn't cooperative, yet again, they'll have me come back for the gender determination for free.  The US clinic offers it too but because I'm there for such a short time I wouldn't be able to go back a second time. 

I'm going to call the place nearer my house tomorrow after my OB appointment and see what their availability is.  If I can get in over the next couple of weeks I might just do that.  Bite the bullet cost wise, anyway.  And I'll see if I can book it during baby's busy period which seems to be between 11 am and 2 pm.  That is certainly when I feel more 'kicks' and popping in my belly. 

The worst that can happen is that I'll have spent some money only to get the same answer as I was given Friday.  But if we get a better look it will be worth the peace of mind ... I think. ;-)

19 weeks ... It's a ...

...........................




BOY!

I'm totally flabbergasted.  Now, I had a feeling right from the start this was a boy.  I think my IUI timing was perfect for a boy so much so I thought this one was horribly mistimed.  I had a feeling that since I had girl names all sorted it would, of course, be a boy.  lol  And when I started feeling kicks, albeit intermittently, 3 weeks ago I was sure it had to be a boy as I've heard that boys kick harder than girls so you might notice their movements earlier.

I told the tech at the scan yesterday that I was interested in finding out if the little bean was cooperative.  I even had a glass of orange juice before hand to try to get the bean to move but to no avail.  I think the bean was snoozing or in deep rest ... or something else that equaled chilling out.  lol  He was on his side with the knees tucked up to his chest and his hands tucked behind his head.  His butt is literally sitting right on my cervix in perfect breech position so that would explain the cervical pressure and pain I've been feeling.  He was content to sit like that the entire time even when she moved the probe around.  The tech showed me his developing brain which is developing on both sides, his 2 kidneys, bladder, etc. and he has everything they look for at this stage.  The heart was working well and the heartbeat came in at 147 beats per minute so nice and strong again.

Halfway through the scan she was covering the nether regions and couldn't get a good look so she zoomed in and pointed out the protrusion to me on the screen.  She said that was a boy.  She continued on with the scan and at the end tried to get a better look but he would NOT cooperate.  She did point out the bottom of the butt and all I saw was baby butt.  However, she is trained and pointed out something that must be a scrotum.  She told me that had she not seen that and the protrusion she wouldn't even have guessed.  So, I'm going to trust her and believe this is a boy.  Girls don't come with protrusions between their legs.  LOL  Although if she is wrong my mom is going to have an awful lot of boy clothing she purchased today to return.

I'm sort of at a loss about this.  I'm not disappointed.  That is definitely the wrong word for it.  I think I'm just really surprised because I've never imagined myself as a mom to a boy.  Never.  I always thought that if I had one or more kids it would be all girl.  I'm used to being around little girls even though I have a bunch of nephews.  Three of those nephews are overseas and I've only met the oldest one.  Most of my cousins are girls and they are a lot younger than me and my sister.  I asked my mom today, "What do you do with a boy?".  Really, I just don't know once they get past baby stage.  My mom was like that too but the complete opposite.  My mom had a younger sister and brother but 2 nephews so she was used to boys and didn't quite know what to do with a girl.  And my mom isn't super girly either so I can only imagine being surrounded by pink. 

There are positives to both girls and boys.  I was thinking it would be easier to have a girl in a very practical sense ... when out in public I never have to worry about her being too old to use the same washroom as me.  I'm not quite sure when I can trust my son to do that and be safe.  My job makes me slightly paranoid.  I'd also love to be able to give my niece's wardrobe another turn as would my sister.  She had so many lovely girl things and as the first grandchild on both sides she had a LOT of really cute stuff.  But I've asked my mom to tell my sister not to get rid of anything yet.  Just in case ...

Boys?  I've heard they're actually a lot easier in many ways after you get past the hard spots when they are young.  The massive appetite as teenager does scare me a bit but maybe that is because I lived with a family with 3 teenage boys who are all now 6'2" and over.  lol  One great thing is that since boys don't have ovaries they can't get PCOS.  That is a huge relief.  I did have a bit of a breakdown last night and started crying because I got sad over the fact that my son won't have a father in the house to be a role model.  But I know that this will affect a little girl as well just in different ways perhaps.  No matter what, any child of mine is definitely wanted and will be loved and he will know that.  I just wish I lived nearer to my family.  My dad is great: he's respectful of everyone, especially women, smart and incredibly funny and great with little kids.  We'll just have to make due with visits and hopefully quite a few business trips home from age 13 months to 2 years when he can fly free on my lap. 

I still have no intentions on going all blue with the baby room or with the clothes.  My mom said she found lots of really cute non-blue 'boys' clothes at Cos.tco today and I'm happy with that.  I'm leaning towards primary colours since I found some really cute vegetable garden theme curtains at Ik.ea. 

I'm a bit stuck on a name and will have to spend some time researching that one to find just the right one.

Other than that I'm feeling fine.  I've had a headache for 3 days now and nothing helps so I think this is just a hormonal shift thing that I've had before with this pregnancy and just have to wait for it to go away.  Hopefully sooner rather than later because I've done nothing all day except sit on the couch.  Kitty may be happy but I'm not.  I've got way too much to do to be sitting around all day on a Saturday. 

Anyway, if you've made it this far and you don't already know Shannon please head over to her blog Chasing Rainbows to give her some support.  Her little guy was born in May and she just received very difficult news about a tumor found with an MRI scan.  I just can't imagine going through what she did only to get this diagnosis.  She has a good support system but I think there is no such thing as too big a support system.  It sounds like this was caught very early so I'm hoping for a good prognosis.

NT Scan

I had my NT scan today as well as my regular and IPS blood work round #1.  Busy morning.  I went to the lab first to pick up the urine container and the woman was crusty!  Oh, was she crusty.  Well, I'm sorry I'm not a typical 'get one tube drawn' kind of gal.  I wanted the container first so I could fill it right after the u/s.  No point in me doing that, coming back to the lab and then having to wait until my bladder was full.  She seemed like it was such a horrible thing that I asked.  Maybe a vacation or a career change is in order.

Anyway, I had the NT scan first.  The measurements were taken using what seemed to be a super zoom feature so everything was much more detailed.  Because of that I think today's scan was more accurate than last week's.  I am still measuring ahead but today I'm only measuring 3 days ahead.  I'm good with that but I'm still sticking with my original due date.  Baby is measuring 5 cm, but that is an average taken from all the crown-rump measurements I saw on the screen.  The heartbeat is still going strong and today it was 172 bpm.  Good stuff! 

The tech showed me everything that was being scanned.  The nuchal fold is definitely visible if you know what you are looking for.  Mine, or should I say baby's, measured 1.3 mm which is well within normal for the size and date of the baby.  After doing a little research I am relieved.  It isn't anywhere near the upper limit.  Baby definitely has 2 legs and 2 arms and I got to see the top of its tiny head.  Baby also decided to moon us during the u/s so I got to see the developing spine right in the middle of the back where it should be. 

After I cleaned up the goop on my belly and went to the bathroom I went back to the lab.  The sour woman was at the desk again.  But as soon as I sat down and pulled out my book I was called in.  The long line of people were probably wondering why I got called in before them.  Ahhhhhh, that's what happens when you drop off your forms early.  Anyway, the woman who took my blood was very nice and appropriately chatty.  She made up for the sourpuss out front.  ;-) 

The rest of the day was busy as I had to finalize some submissions I had to do by phone this afternoon.  I felt so relieved when they were over but didn't quite know what to do with myself for the last half hour of work.  Weird. 

All in all it was a good day.  I'm starting to feel an extra sense of relief at this point and I'm feeling almost ready to tell people.  I want to tell my family next week when I'm out west and after that it will just depend on the day and who I want to tell, I think. 

My next round of IPS blood work is scheduled for the week of July 18th.  I can't go in on the day they want me to (15w3d) but they said it is okay for me to go in a day or two later.  I'm out west again at that time and it would be difficult to be in 2 places at once.  Going in a couple days later than the ideal date is okay but I was told NOT to go in before 15w3d.

Here is the latest photo.  Note that baby looks a lot bigger than last week.  I know that s/he is bigger than a week ago but not from growth.  You can thank the lovely zoom feature on the u/s for this:

11w3d

11 weeks and no news to report

Yep, all is quiet from this end.  I'm taking advantage of the decent weather (warm but not humid plus wind) to get some things done around the house since I got NOTHING done last weekend.  I got 4 batches of blueberry muffins made yesterday and took advantage of my new freezer to get them all frozen. ;-) Got the laundry done yesterday, some vacuuming too.  Today I started tackling one of the front bedrooms.  Most of my things never did get unpacked after I moved last year.  Tip to my readers:  never go on a 1-week business trip on the other side of the country 4 days after moving in, then take a course that takes up all your time over the next 4 weekends, and then take a 3-week vacation overseas a month after you moved in.  Very bad plan for unpacking and organizing.  I'm still living in my 'emergency' unpacking state.  But now I have to get that front bedroom organized. 

I have to get some new bookshelves to hold all the books I have in there and more.  I probably need more than will fit in my bedroom but I'm not sure where else I'll put them.  What doesn't fit on the ones I'm about to buy will have to sit in boxes until they find their new bookshelf homes at some point in the future.  And I discovered oodles of expired cold medication, bena.dryl, and other lovely things.  Also, some hair product and facial stuff that I use but never did get around to unpacking.  Good times.  I'm nowhere near complete, just unpacking everything but I've at least made a start which is better than where I was yesterday. 

Taken at 11w0d

And now for your viewing pleasure a belly pic ... but not a pg belly pic.  No, all you can see here is my PCOS belly which of course regularly suffers from 'the bloat' without pregnancy.  I also had the luck to inherit my dad's round ribcage (unlike my sister whose ribcage is narrow front-back and side-to-side, how nice) so I always look at bit round.  I always joke it is a good thing I inherited the super large chest from my mom's side of the family otherwise my body would just look bizarre, all belly and no boobs.

I have to tell you it was hard to get a good shot doing a self-portrait.  My body and arms wanted to twist in opposite directions.  Obviously no one discussed this with them beforehand. These are my regular clothes.  I'm not quite ready to hop into mat clothes yet even though I have a few.  I like the capri jeans I bought so I might wear them on the plane on Sunday so I'm more comfortable.  Nothing like air travel to cause insane bloating.

I have my NT scan scheduled for Tuesday.  Hopefully the bean will cooperate and we only need to do this once.  I hate having to get up early, particularly around 5:30 am as I am a night owl.  I wish I were doing this in a week or two before the cut off just so I'd get a better updated photo but this is when I was given an appointment.  I'm not expecting to see much growth or difference from 1 week ago.  I also think that my next u/s will be the anatomy scan so I'm going to have to sit tight for quite a few weeks before getting another peek.

Today's ultrasound results

Everything went well this morning.  I was there super early.  They don't open their doors until 7:50 but I was there by 7:30.  Hey, we have super heavy traffic out of our area because of the repair of our water main so I needed to make sure I could get there without trouble. I didn't want to get stuck in a traffic jam and miss my appointment.  Really, I'm not obsessed or anything.

I'm 10w3d but I was measuring 11w2d today.  The bean measured 4.3 cm. There was a hb of 168 bpm which is great.  The tech pointed out the heartbeat right away but I didn't get to hear it.  Apparently my cervix is looking great, long and closed.  Good to know.  And the bean was wiggling a bit at the end testing out its arm and leg buds.  That was great to see. 

The wiggler.  Sorry the photo is so small.  They gave me a tiny one.

Apparently the placenta is on the back wall so there doesn't appear to be a risk of placenta previa, which is a relief.  But the bleeding is still a mystery.  The tech couldn't see any evidence of a sub-chorionic hematoma so I'm guessing this is just one of those things.  Although, I'm beginning to suspect I popped a blood vessel in my cervix when I went to the bathroom on Friday. 

I get a follow up u/s on Tuesday for my NT scan.  I also have to do the IPS (integrated prenatal screening) blood work the same day as that is what they prefer.  The next step is more blood work.  The requisition says they prefer 15w3d but I'll have to check to see if I'm here.  I think I might be.  If not it isn't the end of the world to go in a couple days before.

I'm starting to feel some of the anxiety go.  The last stuff I read said that at this point the risk of m/c drops to 2% so if something goes wrong it has got to be something odd, strange or rare.  I just have to keep reminding myself that the numbers are on my side this time.

10w2d ... and a name vent

And the night before the ultrasound.  I am so nervous we're going to find a problem or there will be no heartbeat.  I've had nothing happen that makes me think this other than the bleeding on Friday.  My symptoms haven't changed in the least.  I'm continuing to feel stretching pains in my pelvis so things must be expanding as they should. 

I know that a good u/s tomorrow doesn't mean everything will be okay.  I'm still only 25% through this pregnancy.  Yes, crazy ... I'm 25% through this already!  But that still means I've got a long road ahead.  But I really want to get some good results tomorrow.  I feel like if everything is okay this week I'll feel more comfortable spilling the beans at the end of the month. 

In other news my nephew finally has a name.  To make a long story short no one in our family likes his first name and we'll come up with a nickname for him. It rhymes with his last name and he is going to be mercilessly teased.  My BIL vetoed everything my sister suggested and pushed for the name he wanted years ago.  Even though the agreement was that my sister got to pick this time since he got to choose my niece's name.  But of course he lies and tells everyone that since my sister had such a horrible experience with my niece's birth that SHE was the one who got to choose her name ... and this one's name.  The truth eventually comes out, d*ckhead.  When my mom went up to the hospital to see little C with my niece, my mom asked about his name.  My BIL basically said his name is C but mommy just has to come around to the idea.  WTF?

And what the heck is wrong with my sister?  Where did her stubbornness go?  That's a whole other topic.

They had no middle name picked out at that point and we all had to wait.  And what did they do?  Yet again they chose a name that has meaning to ME, nothing to do with them.  But of course, my BIL probably likes it because it is rare in North America.  That seems to be his only criteria for a suitable name.  Must be why he put a star beside the name Ebab in their baby names book.  (serious rolling of eyes here)  They chose one of the names of my host brothers in Denmark.  I would love to use the name of one of them (not this one, though) because I really like it and I think it is very traditionally Scandinavian but translates well in North America.  But I'd never use it because it would be weird, especially because there are 3 brothers.  Why choose one and leave the others out.

I'm also mad because this brother is in the army and he could be sent to Afghanistan soon.  What happens if he dies there?  I can't also name my child after him to honour him because my sister and BIL beat me to it. Yet again.  And my sister knows full well that I've been trying to get pregnant.  So much for keeping my pregnancy a secret from them to be nice.  (Where's a confused smiley face when you need it?)

That's the short story.  I'll leave out all the other garbage about my selfish, childish BIL and sister and the garbage we had to deal with on our big family vacation to Denmark last year.  But needless to say it all plays into this.

I'm just pissed.

No new bleeding

Just thought I should update everyone.  And thanks for the reassuring comments. 

I had no more bleeding.  Nothing showed on the liner I had on overnight and I had a bit more brown CM pop out about 6 am when I woke up and had to go to the bathroom.  I haven't been feeling crampy, well any more than I usually do.  All I'm feeling is stretching cramps like I've been feeling the past few weeks.  And I think I feel the corpus luteum starting to shrink too.  Nothing has changed in that department so I'm taking that as a good sign. 

My mom was also reassuring even though she never experienced this with any of her pregnancies.  My sister spotted throughout the first trimester with my niece who is now a bright, happy and crazy (good crazy) almost 5-year old.  Everything I've read said that this can happen, even bright red bleeding and if it isn't accompanied by cramping it should be fine ... even if it is pretty awesomely fear inducing. 

We have great hospital care here but our ERs are overloaded with people who don't know what the 'E' in ER stands for:  emergency.  There are also plenty of folks who don't have family doctors who rely on the ER for general care and then there are those who should just know better before sticking their fingers into a plugged in, still moving lawnmower (yes, Gr. 8 science teacher, that includes you).  Since the bleeding stopped and hasn't returned and is definitely not accompanied by any cramping I don't see the point in going to the ER.  I'd be stuck there for the entire weekend waiting to be seen.  If it returns I can go but until then I'm sitting at home and resting. 

I'll call the NP and OB's offices on Monday just to let them know what happened.  But I'm still hoping there will be something visible on the u/s on Tuesday that can explain this.  If it is just a usual pregnancy thing (SCH, low lying placenta) then I won't be too worried but I will want the doctors to know so they can keep an eye on it. 

The good news is that my freezer and mattress were delivered early.  The delivery guys wanted to get their jobs done before the forecast rain sets in late this afternoon.  Good plan.  In a way it was good to be caught a bit off guard (11:30 am instead of between noon and 6 pm) because I had no time to even consider cleaning, vacuuming, etc.  They just had to deliver and ignore my cat hair covered hardwood floor.  All I had to do to help them keep safe was clear out my entrance of shoes and a few things I'd dumped there over the past few days after getting home, such as my purse.  I'm certain they've seen a lot worse.  ;-)

Bleeding

I started bleeding this afternoon, bright red.  I went to the washroom before heading home on the bus.  When I looked I saw a lot of red blood in the toilet.  No, no, no!  When I wiped I could tell it was not related to a hemorrhoid because it was coming from my vagina.  Lovely.  I know I wasn't constipated but pushed a little too much so I thought maybe it was from a broken blood vessel in my cervix since there is a lot going on in there right now. 

The bleeding stopped on my way home and I had only a little spotting on my liner.  I didn't have any more bleeding but tonight I did have a mass of brown CM come out.  I'm crossing my fingers the bleeding, whatever the cause, is over.  I am not ready for this pregnancy to be over at 9w6d. 

I haven't been experiencing any cramping beyond what I've been feeling the past few weeks.  I think the pain I've been feeling today is a continuation of typical growing pains.  Although, I am feeling something deeper that might be vaginal but I get that the odd time when not pregnant too so that isn't a good measurement to go by.

I have an u/s scheduled for Tuesday morning.  My NP wanted me to get an initial one as a 'dating' scan ... she knows full well that I was at the fertility clinic and I know my dates.  But she saw nothing wrong with doing that and then another one for the NT scan in just a few weeks.  She even said I could set that up right there on my appointment day.  Then I saw the OB the next day and he said I didn't need the dating scan and to cancel the dating scan and book the NT scan.  I debated that one and decided I wasn't going to cancel it.  I know there are concerns about getting too many u/s during pregnancy but I seriously doubt that one extra one is going to do any harm.  Plus, I really want to get it done now.  If I make it to Tuesday I just want reassurances that there is something in there and things are still fine.  And if they can locate anything that indicates where this bleeding might have come from (SCH, low lying placenta, etc.) then I want to know. 

Ugh, this weekend is going to drag by so slowly.

The nephew has arrived

A few days early but he's here. A full 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 20 inches long. No name yet, although my niece thinks his name should be Herb.

A couple days before I last went out west for work my BIL posted something on FB about the u/s showing that he was likely 8 pounds already and could be 9 pounds at birth. That was the first status update I saw that morning and my heart just sank. And then I remembered that I was pregnant. No matter how many kids I have I don't think I'm ever going to get over that feeling when other people post their pregnancy announcements or updates on FB.

Anyway, I was about to take a bite of my sandwich tonight (which I normally hate but I can tolerate eating for supper) when the phone rang. I could tell it was a long distance call by the ring and cursed whoever was calling me thinking it was a telemarketer. I got to the phone and noticed it was my parents. Except when I picked up no one was there ... until finally my niece got on the phone and said something about having a baby. Apparently mommy had nothing to do with it. She was so excited that she was difficult to understand on the phone. And she was a wing nut the entire conversation. She tried to dump over the cat stand with her cat on it. Yes, my SIL and BIL are still not moved in to their renovated house. I'm just going to choose to ignore that part of the situation.

They are going to head up to visit after supper and my niece was planning on bringing him bubble gum. She's been told he looks like her but has lighter hair, maybe a light brown or blonde but my BIL isn't a good judge of anything involving colour or design so we're not sure what colour his hair is. My BIL thinks the men in his family are tall and he is the tallest at barely 5'10". My mom and I scoff at that considering the men in our family run 6'2"+ and we consider that normal, not tall. She was hoping my nephew would be longer than 20 inches.

My niece has been asking lots of questions lately. When I was out a couple weeks ago she asked my mom if I was married. My mom said, no. My niece asked why not. My mom said 'well, if you are going to live with someone you want to like them, right?' My niece thought about that for a while and agreed that was a good idea. So my mom said that I hadn't yet found anyone that I liked enough to live with. She was satisfied with that explanation.

And apparently when she asked about cousins today my mom explained how that would work if I had a baby. My niece got so upset and said that I could NOT have a baby, ever, because that would mean I couldn't be an auntie to her anymore. OMG! That's hilarious. So we explained that to her on the phone, that you can be a mommy, an auntie, a grandma and a cousin all at the same time.

They come up with the funniest stuff ...

In other news, I had my first prenatal appointment with my NP today. We got all the paperwork and requisitions out of the way and we'll do the physical stuff next month. My bp was fine at 116/80 which is within the norm for me. I've been having blood pressure issues the past few days and I'm sure that it is part of the reason why I had 4 straight days of migraines starting last Thursday. I think I'm at that point where the blood vessels dilate but the blood supply hasn't quite caught up yet. I'm feeling better now but I can feel my body is off.

I get to make an appointment for my dating scan. The NP said just to pretend that I've never had one for this pregnancy as they'll use the dating scan to determine when I need to do the NT scan and start the screening bloodwork. So I should get to see the bean again soon. I'm not feeling pregnant (as the NP said, if you're feeling pregnant that usually means you're vomiting) and I really want to see the bean to make sure it is still in there and doing fine. I'm going to call tomorrow morning and line up an appointment asap.

The not so fun part of all the bloodwork is that they have to do all the STD screening again. I just had this done last year and since I haven't become an IV drug user and a penis hasn't been anywhere near this vagina in quite some time, despite my pregnant status, I think it is a waste of financial resources to test again. But it is required. Same with blood type. I've been the same since my mom typed my sister and I as kids and nothing has yet shown she did a crappy job resulting in the wrong blood typing. Again, it is required.

And I have my first appointment with an OB tomorrow. I'm not impressed with what I've heard so far but my mom said to go with an open mind. I'm still really hoping to get in with the midwives practice so I don't have to think about it.

We have a heartbeat

Everything went fine today.  We have a heartbeat of 133 beats per minutes.  And the little bean is measuring two days ahead, at 7 weeks exactly.  I'm very, very relieved.

I had a meeting last night so I couldn't just sit at home and obsess.  So that was helpful.  And I did okay at work today too.  But because I had to drive to the clinic I had to drive to work.  I left an extra half hour early due to reduced lanes out of the neighbourhood and the rain.  I was fine until I started packing up my stuff at noon and then I was hit by nervous stomach.  I made quick trip to the bathroom on my way out.

I saw the same tech as for my baseline and she remembered me.  She did the abdominal u/s first and as soon as she went over my uterus she said she saw a gestational sac.  Relief point #1.  She measured everything including ovaries, the corpus luteum, blood flow to the corpus luteum ... I didn't realize this would be so extensive.  She asked me if I knew what side I ovulated from.  I didn't realize until I got home that she must have thought I was being monitored by u/s during my cycle.  Nope.  But I was right, it was from my overachieving right ovary.  I told her that I could feel it during this cycle and that after ovulation I could feel a lot of pressure from what had to be the corpus luteum.  I think it has actually been pressing on my uterus from time to time.  That sucker is over 3 inches long in one measurement so that would explain why.  And it was actually kind of cool to see the corpus luteum on the screen.  It looks like a big black void where my ovary used to be.

After that was done I got to relieve my bladder and then I had my appointment with The Wand.  She did a quick look through and found the sac and told me she saw the baby in there.  Relief point #2.  And she quickly pointed out there was a heartbeat and showed me where it was.  Relief point #3.  She pointed out all the different parts as she measured and said that the head was starting to form.  It still looks like a blob or alien life form to me at this point.  She said it is more like a grain of rice.  Yes, size wise perhaps but I don't think the little bean looks like a grain of rice.  Because of the way the wand was positioned, of course, the bean looked like it was upside down and getting a major head rush.

The ultrasound equipment was great.  It calculated everything automatically when she measured things so I immediately saw 7w0d pop up on screen for the bean when she did the 'crown to rump' measurement.  The sac measured at 7w3d.  She showed me the heartbeat pattern on screen and when she measured it the number 133 came up right away.  And what was nice is that their system was set up to take into account ovulation/IUI day and last menstrual period so if you don't have a 28-day cycle you aren't going to mistakenly be told that your bean is too small. 

I asked tech S for photos before I ran upstairs for my follow up and she was having difficulty getting them from the machine in room 4.  Something about that machine being different than the others.  But she got 4 of them that weren't crazy pixelized and brought them upstairs for me.  And what was great is that she had folded over the paper so that no one sitting in the waiting room had to see that.  How very considerate of her!

My follow up with Dr. C, head of the clinic, started a bit late but was really extensive.  Why, I don't know.  The resident came to get me and I was wondering who this dude was.  Ah, the resident.  Dr. C told me that my chances of having a take home baby based on the u/s is 95%.  Still not 100% but that number sounds really good to me.  He's referring me to an OB at the closest hospital.  He thinks this one is fab so I'm hoping my first interaction will be good.  I'm still going to ask my NP about midwives.  I haven't found a practice that covers my area of the city or the hospital closest to my house so perhaps she can help me.  I'm not quite sure what to do except meet with both and see how I feel.  Luckily in Ontario you can have either a midwife or an OB and it is covered.  And midwives have admitting privileges to certain hospitals.  And the midwives work with OBs to transfer their patients if serious issues arise but they continue to work with their clients in a supportive role. 

I got the spiel about pre-natal testing and I was told there is a less invasive screening test done around 12 weeks but I have to get the OB to order it in time.  Or I can get the NP to do it too.  I have no idea if I'll get in to the OB in time as I don't find referrals work quickly here.  I think they could tell I was feeling a little underwhelmed.  Hey, dudes!  I got pregnant twice in 3 months/cycles and the first one was a m/c.  Don't you think I'd be a little underwhelmed about this?  The resident said it best when I was searching for the right work:  emotionally cautious.  I thought, 'gee, you've seen patients like me before, haven't you?'.  When Dr. C asked how I was feeling I said I was actually feeling really well, no m/s but just tired.  He laughed.  But he told me that I'm unlikely to get m/s now since it hasn't reared its ugly head yet.  I hope so.  And he said it was fine for me to fly up to 35 weeks.  I seriously doubt I'll be flying that late into pregnancy but I am glad there is nothing keeping me from flying out on Monday for a week of work.  The OT is very helpful in getting the savings built up and for paying for necessary things between now and baby's arrival ... plus those 6 extra vials of sperm I now have saved in my name.

Dr. C asked what meds I was using.  When I told him none he seemed surprised.  Yep, no Clo.mid.  I told him the plan was to add that the next month.  He was all confused because I have PCOS and couldn't figure out how I did this without meds.  It was kind of funny to watch the gears in his head do the work on that one.  He also said that the standard practice is to keep PCOS women on metf.ormin for 10 weeks but that all the research shows that it is safe to take through pregnancy.  I already know that from my research.  (I read medical journals articles on PCOS from time to time for my own knowledge.)  This drug is my absolute life saver and I do NOT want to go off it, ever again.  The last time was a disaster.  If I can stay on it I will.  I also refuse to get off it if it means I can't breastfeed.  That would be a medically mismanaged disaster, in my opinion. 

Anyway, I ended up with the rest of the afternoon to myself and I celebrated by buying the last of my flowers to plant (8 plants) and some ice cream bars as a snack.  ;-)

Just checking in

Nothing new to report.  Everything seems to be going along just fine.  I passed the 6 week mark and am really grateful to get this far this time.  Every day that passes I'm so happy that I haven't had any bleeding ... so happy to just get through another day pregnant. 

I'm still very anxious about my ultrasound on Thursday.  I just want everything that is supposed to be there to actually be there.  I know I have no control over this but I really hope I don't get unlucky two pregnancies in a row.  I'd be devastated. 

I'm slowly realizing that I can't do the things I normally do partly out of exhaustion and partly because this pregnant body can't, or shouldn't, be lifting heavy things.  I am 99% sure I'll be getting an IK.EA crib and I also need a few more things from the store, namely some bookshelves so I can move the books out of baby's room.  I can't lift the boxes any longer so I think I'm just going to have to order everything and have it shipped.  Once it is in my house I can take everything apart box by box, piece by piece and move them individually. 

I've sort of had to give up on my yard for the year.  With the water ban in place until August 1st I can't really plant trees or shrubs this year anyway.  But I'm cutting back on the number of flower pots I will plant.  I have set out 2 smaller pots out front so my yard doesn't look like a complete disaster compared to my neighbours'.  I picked up some impatients today but I'm not entirely thrilled with them.  I'd wanted the New Gui.nea ones but I didn't see them anywhere.  I'll keep looking but if I find the NG ones I might pick up a few and use the little impatients as filler.  If not, I'll just use what I have and pick up a couple other things to throw in there. 

I've noticed that I'm getting back pain and pelvic pain when I sit or lay in certain positions.  I had some really seriously sharp cramping yesterday.  It may have been as a result of how I was sitting or moving because it did improve when I moved.  But it did take a while.  I think I need to invest in a good body pillow already.  Any recommendations for me? 

Oops!

My ultrasound isn't this Thursday, it is next Thursday.  How I got that mixed up I don't know.  I wrote down the correct date.  I even remember being on the phone and thinking "oh, the 19th ... I have to rearrange my schedule that day".  Maybe I was just distracted with everything I had going on yesterday.  I don't know. 

Sorry ladies.  You're going to have to wait an extra week to find out what I've got going on in there. ;-)

5 weeks

I made it to 5 weeks today, 2 days further than last time.  So far so good.  But I have to say the progesterone ooze gives me the willies.  Every time I feel it I think I should go check to see if I'm bleeding.  No bleeding, not even a little speck so I'm not complaining. ;-)

I got the call for my 1st ultrasound.  The receptionist called it my 1st OB ultrasound.  I like the sound of that.  My appointment is Thursday afternoon with a follow up right after with the head of the clinic.  I'm really hoping that this little bean is where it supposed to be and what we are supposed to see shows up.  Until the ultrasound I just have to hope this is progressing normally and that there is a growing embryo in there rather than a blighted ovum. 

The green feeling hasn't come back yet but my sense of smell is still heightened.  Food doesn't taste the same.  Even if it doesn't turn me off food isn't as tasty as it used to be.  Except for salty food.  I can always eat that without a problem.  I'm definitely tired but I can't say it is any worse yet than the fatigue I usually suffer from.  It just seems to hit earlier in the day.  My eyes have started feeling tired at noon.  And I feel tired at a normal time in the evening - I'm a night owl.  And I got tired after my shopping excursion today.

The other thing that happened today, a bit disconcerting I have to say, is that I got some serious cramping after lifting some heavy things at HD.  We have a water ban in our neighbourhood as the city works on replacing the water source to our suburb.  The main failed about 50 years early.  So I have ordered a rain barrel and need something to place it on.  Queue the cinder blocks and large paving stone.  Picking up 2 blocks and 1 stone, placing them in the cart and then my car trunk was enough to set off a lot of cramping.  Way more than I've dealt with so far.  I've forbidden myself from this kind of activity from here on out.  Someone else is going to have to do the heavy lifting.  This is one of those times I really miss having a guy around the house or at least having my parents live nearby. 

Everything seems to be fine, though.  I run the bathroom often enough to check, it seems. ;-)  No bleeding and the cramping has subsided.