12 weeks

I cannot believe I've hit the 12 week mark.  It still doesn't feel real and I'm not sure when it will.  Will it feel real when my belly starts growing?  When I get to the anatomy scan?  I don't know. 

Everything is going well.  No episodes of spotting but I do have some nasty round ligament pain from time to time, usually when I move too fast.  The only excitement I've seen recently was yesterday's nasty storm which I got stuck outside in for a half hour.  And this one was of epic proportions.

It started pouring before I left the office but let up a little so I could catch the bus.  Almost got to my home bus stop when the hail started coming down.  In the 10 years I've lived here I haven't seen hail once.  Then I get to my bus stop and the driver can't even drop us off b/c it is flooded.  The car parked on the street just in front had water flowing by it almost up to the door.  He dropped us off further down the block and I did so well not getting my feet submerged in water until I got to the sidewalk.  What is the point of a sidewalk again??? 

I get to the other end of the block and have to walk on the lawn to get around because the sidewalk is flooded.  Then I get to the end of the block and I see the flood.  Literally.  The water is coming down my cross street, the one I have to walk up to get to my street, and I can't do it because the water is literally flowing like the rapids of a river.  Insane!!!  I made a quick decision to cut across the lawn of that yard and hang out under the roof of their garage hoping that the rain would end soon.  Nope.  I was stuck out there for a half hour.  I had no way to take my shoes off and carry them since I had 4 bags and an umbrella otherwise I might have been very tempted.  Unfortunately, of the 4 houses on that block the two in the middle have no lawn so I had to either walk on a sidewalk submerged in inches of flowing water or through 2 yards of mud.  

One of the neighbours across the street came out to take pictures of the water way up his calves in the middle of the street.  He asked if I wanted to come to their house to wait it out but it would mean me walking through the water.  I said thanks but I'd be fine.  The lightning was overhead much of the time I was out there so I felt safer under the roof.  

Then a woman who had been over at this guy's house came over and offered to give me a ride the last 2 blocks to my house since she was about to leave for home anyway.  I was so happy!  But of course that was when the storm was letting up.  But it was so nice of her to offer.  Made my day after a half hour waiting out the storm!  

One of the good things is that I now know to get off at my old regular bus stop when it is raining.  It has been moved temporarily b/c of construction and it didn't look any better yesterday with water flowing up from the manhole.  And I also know that in that kind of storm that the flood protection mechanisms in my neighbourhood work.  And I definitely don't live in the lowest spot in the neighbourhood. 

Tonight, I discovered that my purse is still wet inside and my computer bag got soaked.  The computer was a bit wet but turned on just fine.  But many of my work papers got totally soaked.  I'm airing them out now.  Usually I'm super packed the night before I leave but I can't do that this time.  I'll have to get the suitcase done but wait to do the rest tomorrow.  No sleeping in.   :(

And now, today's belly shot.  Same clothes which still fit.  I'm happy with that.  You can really see the veins in my pasty white arms now.  

12w0d

NT Scan

I had my NT scan today as well as my regular and IPS blood work round #1.  Busy morning.  I went to the lab first to pick up the urine container and the woman was crusty!  Oh, was she crusty.  Well, I'm sorry I'm not a typical 'get one tube drawn' kind of gal.  I wanted the container first so I could fill it right after the u/s.  No point in me doing that, coming back to the lab and then having to wait until my bladder was full.  She seemed like it was such a horrible thing that I asked.  Maybe a vacation or a career change is in order.

Anyway, I had the NT scan first.  The measurements were taken using what seemed to be a super zoom feature so everything was much more detailed.  Because of that I think today's scan was more accurate than last week's.  I am still measuring ahead but today I'm only measuring 3 days ahead.  I'm good with that but I'm still sticking with my original due date.  Baby is measuring 5 cm, but that is an average taken from all the crown-rump measurements I saw on the screen.  The heartbeat is still going strong and today it was 172 bpm.  Good stuff! 

The tech showed me everything that was being scanned.  The nuchal fold is definitely visible if you know what you are looking for.  Mine, or should I say baby's, measured 1.3 mm which is well within normal for the size and date of the baby.  After doing a little research I am relieved.  It isn't anywhere near the upper limit.  Baby definitely has 2 legs and 2 arms and I got to see the top of its tiny head.  Baby also decided to moon us during the u/s so I got to see the developing spine right in the middle of the back where it should be. 

After I cleaned up the goop on my belly and went to the bathroom I went back to the lab.  The sour woman was at the desk again.  But as soon as I sat down and pulled out my book I was called in.  The long line of people were probably wondering why I got called in before them.  Ahhhhhh, that's what happens when you drop off your forms early.  Anyway, the woman who took my blood was very nice and appropriately chatty.  She made up for the sourpuss out front.  ;-) 

The rest of the day was busy as I had to finalize some submissions I had to do by phone this afternoon.  I felt so relieved when they were over but didn't quite know what to do with myself for the last half hour of work.  Weird. 

All in all it was a good day.  I'm starting to feel an extra sense of relief at this point and I'm feeling almost ready to tell people.  I want to tell my family next week when I'm out west and after that it will just depend on the day and who I want to tell, I think. 

My next round of IPS blood work is scheduled for the week of July 18th.  I can't go in on the day they want me to (15w3d) but they said it is okay for me to go in a day or two later.  I'm out west again at that time and it would be difficult to be in 2 places at once.  Going in a couple days later than the ideal date is okay but I was told NOT to go in before 15w3d.

Here is the latest photo.  Note that baby looks a lot bigger than last week.  I know that s/he is bigger than a week ago but not from growth.  You can thank the lovely zoom feature on the u/s for this:

11w3d

11 weeks and no news to report

Yep, all is quiet from this end.  I'm taking advantage of the decent weather (warm but not humid plus wind) to get some things done around the house since I got NOTHING done last weekend.  I got 4 batches of blueberry muffins made yesterday and took advantage of my new freezer to get them all frozen. ;-) Got the laundry done yesterday, some vacuuming too.  Today I started tackling one of the front bedrooms.  Most of my things never did get unpacked after I moved last year.  Tip to my readers:  never go on a 1-week business trip on the other side of the country 4 days after moving in, then take a course that takes up all your time over the next 4 weekends, and then take a 3-week vacation overseas a month after you moved in.  Very bad plan for unpacking and organizing.  I'm still living in my 'emergency' unpacking state.  But now I have to get that front bedroom organized. 

I have to get some new bookshelves to hold all the books I have in there and more.  I probably need more than will fit in my bedroom but I'm not sure where else I'll put them.  What doesn't fit on the ones I'm about to buy will have to sit in boxes until they find their new bookshelf homes at some point in the future.  And I discovered oodles of expired cold medication, bena.dryl, and other lovely things.  Also, some hair product and facial stuff that I use but never did get around to unpacking.  Good times.  I'm nowhere near complete, just unpacking everything but I've at least made a start which is better than where I was yesterday. 

Taken at 11w0d

And now for your viewing pleasure a belly pic ... but not a pg belly pic.  No, all you can see here is my PCOS belly which of course regularly suffers from 'the bloat' without pregnancy.  I also had the luck to inherit my dad's round ribcage (unlike my sister whose ribcage is narrow front-back and side-to-side, how nice) so I always look at bit round.  I always joke it is a good thing I inherited the super large chest from my mom's side of the family otherwise my body would just look bizarre, all belly and no boobs.

I have to tell you it was hard to get a good shot doing a self-portrait.  My body and arms wanted to twist in opposite directions.  Obviously no one discussed this with them beforehand. These are my regular clothes.  I'm not quite ready to hop into mat clothes yet even though I have a few.  I like the capri jeans I bought so I might wear them on the plane on Sunday so I'm more comfortable.  Nothing like air travel to cause insane bloating.

I have my NT scan scheduled for Tuesday.  Hopefully the bean will cooperate and we only need to do this once.  I hate having to get up early, particularly around 5:30 am as I am a night owl.  I wish I were doing this in a week or two before the cut off just so I'd get a better updated photo but this is when I was given an appointment.  I'm not expecting to see much growth or difference from 1 week ago.  I also think that my next u/s will be the anatomy scan so I'm going to have to sit tight for quite a few weeks before getting another peek.

Feeling much better today

After giving it some thought I think I figured out what the problem was.  I ate a nice bowl of freshly popped hot air popcorn Tuesday night ... at 8:30 which apparently is too late for me.  It seemed to sit in my stomach overnight because when I woke up I certainly wasn't hungry.  It felt like I had a full stomach from the get go.  So now, I'm going to make an effort to eat supper a little earlier and if I want a snack or treat I must eat it right after supper.  Although I'm not quite sure how much more I can add to my diet.  I already eat 5 times a day and I eat full, balanced meals and snacks each time.  I'm going to continue eating this way and see what happens with my weight.  If it looks like it is going to be a problem then I can always adjust.

Tonight, I couldn't find anything appetizing in the fridge.  I'd been giving thought to some pizza the past few night so I ordered some.  My tummy is happy!

And now ... introducing my nephew Callum.  Seeing these pictures from 1 week, he definitely looks like our family. 

Callum - 1 week old

And another one:

Mmmm, fingers are tasty.  Nom, nom.

And one of big sister and little brother.  She's certainly proud but she's holding him a bit awkwardly.  lol

Can my smile get any bigger?  Are you squishing me?

I am really looking forward to having my own ... soon!  Hopefully my niece will get over her fear that I will stop being her auntie when I become a mom.

Worst day so far

Okay, I have to say that my pregnancy has been quite easy thus far except for the anxiety thanks to my previous loss.  But what was with today? 

I didn't sleep well last night.  I thought since my body seemed to be adjusting to my new mattress it was time to try sleeping on a single pillow instead of 2.  Wrong choice.  My neck and shoulders were stiff this morning.  And I was awake by 5 am when my alarm was set for 5:30 so I could go in to work early for French class.  The sun is up way too early these days and it disturbs my sleep even with an eye mask on.  So, I start the day feeling sleep deprived.

I get around to eating breakfast, the same thing I eat every morning, and I can't finish my oatmeal.  I've been developing an aversion to the sweetness of the dried cranberries I put in there but I just couldn't finish.  Then I couldn't finish my almonds I eat for extra protein.  I couldn't finish my tea this morning.  My stomach just felt super full.  The rest of the day I had trouble eating.  I felt constantly full and couldn't finish anything I ate.  Supper?  That was a challenge but I forced myself to eat a sandwich and drink some V8. 

I also had major lower back pain and combined with the dark brown spotting I had last night and overnight I was a bit paranoid this was going to turn into something worse.  Then there was the awful 'fullness' in my pelvis that I felt every time I sat down.  Just uncomfortable.  Forget about concentrating on anything work related today.  I just felt wrong and off all day.

I know this isn't morning sickness but man, if morning sickness is way worse than this boy do I have sympathy for the women who suffer from it. 

I'm currently waiting a few minutes more for my cat's medication to kick in before I give her some canned food and I can head to bed. 

Today's ultrasound results

Everything went well this morning.  I was there super early.  They don't open their doors until 7:50 but I was there by 7:30.  Hey, we have super heavy traffic out of our area because of the repair of our water main so I needed to make sure I could get there without trouble. I didn't want to get stuck in a traffic jam and miss my appointment.  Really, I'm not obsessed or anything.

I'm 10w3d but I was measuring 11w2d today.  The bean measured 4.3 cm. There was a hb of 168 bpm which is great.  The tech pointed out the heartbeat right away but I didn't get to hear it.  Apparently my cervix is looking great, long and closed.  Good to know.  And the bean was wiggling a bit at the end testing out its arm and leg buds.  That was great to see. 

The wiggler.  Sorry the photo is so small.  They gave me a tiny one.

Apparently the placenta is on the back wall so there doesn't appear to be a risk of placenta previa, which is a relief.  But the bleeding is still a mystery.  The tech couldn't see any evidence of a sub-chorionic hematoma so I'm guessing this is just one of those things.  Although, I'm beginning to suspect I popped a blood vessel in my cervix when I went to the bathroom on Friday. 

I get a follow up u/s on Tuesday for my NT scan.  I also have to do the IPS (integrated prenatal screening) blood work the same day as that is what they prefer.  The next step is more blood work.  The requisition says they prefer 15w3d but I'll have to check to see if I'm here.  I think I might be.  If not it isn't the end of the world to go in a couple days before.

I'm starting to feel some of the anxiety go.  The last stuff I read said that at this point the risk of m/c drops to 2% so if something goes wrong it has got to be something odd, strange or rare.  I just have to keep reminding myself that the numbers are on my side this time.

10w2d ... and a name vent

And the night before the ultrasound.  I am so nervous we're going to find a problem or there will be no heartbeat.  I've had nothing happen that makes me think this other than the bleeding on Friday.  My symptoms haven't changed in the least.  I'm continuing to feel stretching pains in my pelvis so things must be expanding as they should. 

I know that a good u/s tomorrow doesn't mean everything will be okay.  I'm still only 25% through this pregnancy.  Yes, crazy ... I'm 25% through this already!  But that still means I've got a long road ahead.  But I really want to get some good results tomorrow.  I feel like if everything is okay this week I'll feel more comfortable spilling the beans at the end of the month. 

In other news my nephew finally has a name.  To make a long story short no one in our family likes his first name and we'll come up with a nickname for him. It rhymes with his last name and he is going to be mercilessly teased.  My BIL vetoed everything my sister suggested and pushed for the name he wanted years ago.  Even though the agreement was that my sister got to pick this time since he got to choose my niece's name.  But of course he lies and tells everyone that since my sister had such a horrible experience with my niece's birth that SHE was the one who got to choose her name ... and this one's name.  The truth eventually comes out, d*ckhead.  When my mom went up to the hospital to see little C with my niece, my mom asked about his name.  My BIL basically said his name is C but mommy just has to come around to the idea.  WTF?

And what the heck is wrong with my sister?  Where did her stubbornness go?  That's a whole other topic.

They had no middle name picked out at that point and we all had to wait.  And what did they do?  Yet again they chose a name that has meaning to ME, nothing to do with them.  But of course, my BIL probably likes it because it is rare in North America.  That seems to be his only criteria for a suitable name.  Must be why he put a star beside the name Ebab in their baby names book.  (serious rolling of eyes here)  They chose one of the names of my host brothers in Denmark.  I would love to use the name of one of them (not this one, though) because I really like it and I think it is very traditionally Scandinavian but translates well in North America.  But I'd never use it because it would be weird, especially because there are 3 brothers.  Why choose one and leave the others out.

I'm also mad because this brother is in the army and he could be sent to Afghanistan soon.  What happens if he dies there?  I can't also name my child after him to honour him because my sister and BIL beat me to it. Yet again.  And my sister knows full well that I've been trying to get pregnant.  So much for keeping my pregnancy a secret from them to be nice.  (Where's a confused smiley face when you need it?)

That's the short story.  I'll leave out all the other garbage about my selfish, childish BIL and sister and the garbage we had to deal with on our big family vacation to Denmark last year.  But needless to say it all plays into this.

I'm just pissed.

No new bleeding

Just thought I should update everyone.  And thanks for the reassuring comments. 

I had no more bleeding.  Nothing showed on the liner I had on overnight and I had a bit more brown CM pop out about 6 am when I woke up and had to go to the bathroom.  I haven't been feeling crampy, well any more than I usually do.  All I'm feeling is stretching cramps like I've been feeling the past few weeks.  And I think I feel the corpus luteum starting to shrink too.  Nothing has changed in that department so I'm taking that as a good sign. 

My mom was also reassuring even though she never experienced this with any of her pregnancies.  My sister spotted throughout the first trimester with my niece who is now a bright, happy and crazy (good crazy) almost 5-year old.  Everything I've read said that this can happen, even bright red bleeding and if it isn't accompanied by cramping it should be fine ... even if it is pretty awesomely fear inducing. 

We have great hospital care here but our ERs are overloaded with people who don't know what the 'E' in ER stands for:  emergency.  There are also plenty of folks who don't have family doctors who rely on the ER for general care and then there are those who should just know better before sticking their fingers into a plugged in, still moving lawnmower (yes, Gr. 8 science teacher, that includes you).  Since the bleeding stopped and hasn't returned and is definitely not accompanied by any cramping I don't see the point in going to the ER.  I'd be stuck there for the entire weekend waiting to be seen.  If it returns I can go but until then I'm sitting at home and resting. 

I'll call the NP and OB's offices on Monday just to let them know what happened.  But I'm still hoping there will be something visible on the u/s on Tuesday that can explain this.  If it is just a usual pregnancy thing (SCH, low lying placenta) then I won't be too worried but I will want the doctors to know so they can keep an eye on it. 

The good news is that my freezer and mattress were delivered early.  The delivery guys wanted to get their jobs done before the forecast rain sets in late this afternoon.  Good plan.  In a way it was good to be caught a bit off guard (11:30 am instead of between noon and 6 pm) because I had no time to even consider cleaning, vacuuming, etc.  They just had to deliver and ignore my cat hair covered hardwood floor.  All I had to do to help them keep safe was clear out my entrance of shoes and a few things I'd dumped there over the past few days after getting home, such as my purse.  I'm certain they've seen a lot worse.  ;-)

Bleeding

I started bleeding this afternoon, bright red.  I went to the washroom before heading home on the bus.  When I looked I saw a lot of red blood in the toilet.  No, no, no!  When I wiped I could tell it was not related to a hemorrhoid because it was coming from my vagina.  Lovely.  I know I wasn't constipated but pushed a little too much so I thought maybe it was from a broken blood vessel in my cervix since there is a lot going on in there right now. 

The bleeding stopped on my way home and I had only a little spotting on my liner.  I didn't have any more bleeding but tonight I did have a mass of brown CM come out.  I'm crossing my fingers the bleeding, whatever the cause, is over.  I am not ready for this pregnancy to be over at 9w6d. 

I haven't been experiencing any cramping beyond what I've been feeling the past few weeks.  I think the pain I've been feeling today is a continuation of typical growing pains.  Although, I am feeling something deeper that might be vaginal but I get that the odd time when not pregnant too so that isn't a good measurement to go by.

I have an u/s scheduled for Tuesday morning.  My NP wanted me to get an initial one as a 'dating' scan ... she knows full well that I was at the fertility clinic and I know my dates.  But she saw nothing wrong with doing that and then another one for the NT scan in just a few weeks.  She even said I could set that up right there on my appointment day.  Then I saw the OB the next day and he said I didn't need the dating scan and to cancel the dating scan and book the NT scan.  I debated that one and decided I wasn't going to cancel it.  I know there are concerns about getting too many u/s during pregnancy but I seriously doubt that one extra one is going to do any harm.  Plus, I really want to get it done now.  If I make it to Tuesday I just want reassurances that there is something in there and things are still fine.  And if they can locate anything that indicates where this bleeding might have come from (SCH, low lying placenta, etc.) then I want to know. 

Ugh, this weekend is going to drag by so slowly.

The nephew has arrived

A few days early but he's here. A full 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 20 inches long. No name yet, although my niece thinks his name should be Herb.

A couple days before I last went out west for work my BIL posted something on FB about the u/s showing that he was likely 8 pounds already and could be 9 pounds at birth. That was the first status update I saw that morning and my heart just sank. And then I remembered that I was pregnant. No matter how many kids I have I don't think I'm ever going to get over that feeling when other people post their pregnancy announcements or updates on FB.

Anyway, I was about to take a bite of my sandwich tonight (which I normally hate but I can tolerate eating for supper) when the phone rang. I could tell it was a long distance call by the ring and cursed whoever was calling me thinking it was a telemarketer. I got to the phone and noticed it was my parents. Except when I picked up no one was there ... until finally my niece got on the phone and said something about having a baby. Apparently mommy had nothing to do with it. She was so excited that she was difficult to understand on the phone. And she was a wing nut the entire conversation. She tried to dump over the cat stand with her cat on it. Yes, my SIL and BIL are still not moved in to their renovated house. I'm just going to choose to ignore that part of the situation.

They are going to head up to visit after supper and my niece was planning on bringing him bubble gum. She's been told he looks like her but has lighter hair, maybe a light brown or blonde but my BIL isn't a good judge of anything involving colour or design so we're not sure what colour his hair is. My BIL thinks the men in his family are tall and he is the tallest at barely 5'10". My mom and I scoff at that considering the men in our family run 6'2"+ and we consider that normal, not tall. She was hoping my nephew would be longer than 20 inches.

My niece has been asking lots of questions lately. When I was out a couple weeks ago she asked my mom if I was married. My mom said, no. My niece asked why not. My mom said 'well, if you are going to live with someone you want to like them, right?' My niece thought about that for a while and agreed that was a good idea. So my mom said that I hadn't yet found anyone that I liked enough to live with. She was satisfied with that explanation.

And apparently when she asked about cousins today my mom explained how that would work if I had a baby. My niece got so upset and said that I could NOT have a baby, ever, because that would mean I couldn't be an auntie to her anymore. OMG! That's hilarious. So we explained that to her on the phone, that you can be a mommy, an auntie, a grandma and a cousin all at the same time.

They come up with the funniest stuff ...

In other news, I had my first prenatal appointment with my NP today. We got all the paperwork and requisitions out of the way and we'll do the physical stuff next month. My bp was fine at 116/80 which is within the norm for me. I've been having blood pressure issues the past few days and I'm sure that it is part of the reason why I had 4 straight days of migraines starting last Thursday. I think I'm at that point where the blood vessels dilate but the blood supply hasn't quite caught up yet. I'm feeling better now but I can feel my body is off.

I get to make an appointment for my dating scan. The NP said just to pretend that I've never had one for this pregnancy as they'll use the dating scan to determine when I need to do the NT scan and start the screening bloodwork. So I should get to see the bean again soon. I'm not feeling pregnant (as the NP said, if you're feeling pregnant that usually means you're vomiting) and I really want to see the bean to make sure it is still in there and doing fine. I'm going to call tomorrow morning and line up an appointment asap.

The not so fun part of all the bloodwork is that they have to do all the STD screening again. I just had this done last year and since I haven't become an IV drug user and a penis hasn't been anywhere near this vagina in quite some time, despite my pregnant status, I think it is a waste of financial resources to test again. But it is required. Same with blood type. I've been the same since my mom typed my sister and I as kids and nothing has yet shown she did a crappy job resulting in the wrong blood typing. Again, it is required.

And I have my first appointment with an OB tomorrow. I'm not impressed with what I've heard so far but my mom said to go with an open mind. I'm still really hoping to get in with the midwives practice so I don't have to think about it.