- E2 = 377
- LH = 9
I kind of disappeared from my online places over the last week. I was so tired, angry, and sad that I just couldn't stand looking at pregnancy tic.kers, happy BFP announcements, or condescending "oh, I'm sorry but I know it will happen for you" pronouncements. I just needed time to grieve another BFN and to come to the realization that adding Clo.mid is probably a good thing and not a sign of defeat. For years I refused to add met.formin to my fight against PCOS. Eventually I realized I had done all I could by myself and that the medication could only help me get to that next step. And now I'm coming to the same conclusion about Clo.mid. I had so hoped that I could get a sticky BFP without it. I don't know ... part of me thought that if I could get that BFP Clo.mid free it would feel like I was giving PCOS the big middle finger. But I can't focus on feeling defeated without a sticky BFP without Clo.mid. I'm just trying to give myself a better chance at a BFP, possibly more than one good follicle for a better chance at a sticky BFP, and to push up the time table a little bit. I turn 38 in December and I cannot keep going month after month without stepping up the protocol to get more aggressive. Adding Clo.mid does NOT mean I am a failure or that my body is a failure. It is just another weapon in my arsenal on the way to getting my sticky BFP.
Not much else to tell here. We had our first thunderstorm of the season, a major one. The power went out some time over night and came on again around 4 or 4:15 according to my clock. The thunder and lightning was very intense and woke me up. I thought it was about 3 but thought I'd better check what time it was since the clock had been out. 5:30! Time to take my temp and get up. Nothing like nature being your alarm clock. The rain was pretty intense but no damage on our street. It was way warmer than normal today at 23 degrees C and very humid, a taste of what is to come in summer. Yuck!
I've noticed this blog is a little short on photos so I thought I'd share a few.
|Kitty hanging out on top of my dresser in the old condo.|
|Me and The Fifi|
|Baby gifts ... obviously not for me. :-(|
I did some shopping over the last little while. With 6 new babies around me (5 in 5 months plus one this upcoming June) I've had to spend a lot of time in the baby aisles. It used to be fun but it isn't really fun any more. And that makes me sad. The red one is for The Fifi's little brother, due in June. The other 2 are for my niece R in Denmark. I took a look at the tag on the pink one and realized it may be too small already. R was 22 inches long at birth. The pink one, my favourite, is supposed to be size 6 months. But I looked at the tag and it is for kids up to 27 inches long. And since it has feet it can't work for longer kids. By the time it gets to R I think it will be too small. I'll send the snail one instead since she'll still have time to grow into a 12 month sleeper. And she'll look awesome in blue. ;-) I'm going to keep the pink one for now as I'm sure one of my friends or someone at work will have another baby soon. Then, at least I have something at home and I don't have to brave the baby aisles at the stores again.