I just look at where this is headed and I just don't want to go there:
- I've got 2 more tries with my donor then I need to find someone else. I don't want anyone else. I really like this donor. But maybe he is a dud. Maybe I have crappy eggs. I don't know.
- Clomid is looming in the future. I'm going to have to add it after 2-3 more tries unmedicated. I've heard awful things about side effects. I don't want to go there either.
- If this cycle doesn't work, I'll definitely not have a baby before I turn 38. That makes me sad. It also means that I'm unlikely to have 2 biological children unless my ovaries perform some miracle and I end up with twins or they behave like a 30-year old's ovaries when I'm 40.
I need to distract myself by getting to work. Had my 1-year home inspection this morning and it was nice not to get out of bed at 6 am but sitting here by myself I can tell I need a distraction.
I'll probably test again in a couple days, then definitely on Saturday at 15dpo. If I get another negative on Saturday I'll just stop the progesterone instead of waiting for a beta on Monday. If it is going to be positive it is going to have to show up by Saturday. But we all know how well a BFP on 15dpo worked for me last month.